E.D take-down support group!
It seems so me that there are alot of folks here who have/do struggle with and eating disorder. I myself and a recovering anorexic. It is a tough thing to try and get better. I feel there should be a whole topic dedicated to E.Ds, where anyone can come and either get or give support. This should be that safe place! I just thought I would start it. Also, I have a blog coolywash.blogspot.com, and I created it to be a place to go and talk about eating disorder issues, to be open and honest and feel very safe. So, if you feel even a bit to exposed posting here on this site, my blog is only for eating disorder honesty and support. Together we can do this! As sappy as that sounds, I really believe that we can.
im in i have had anorexia for 12 years and im on tube feeding from home.... i want to learn to eat right and love my body.
i have been in hositlal 7 times and i am a Christian...... i really want to overcome this and be happy and healthy and show other s that recovery is possible! love and blessings :)
Welcome spekgirl! You are going to be free and happy. I know this for a fact. Jesus is healing you. Come to my blog if you feel comfortable ok? And I am so proud of you, wanting to get better is a huge first step. Way to go! Celebrate this victory, ok?
ty just wondering do you use facebook? haha i find i know alot of ppl i meet on other site that i talk with on FB :)
I do use face book! I am alyssa washington.
oh cool im kylie mullinger
This is a great idea. I am a recovering anorexic but ive had body issues since I was ten years old. Together we can all grow strong and healthy again! :) I have a blog too!
I have also been struggling with an eating disorder for the past 16 years. At first it was anorexia for a few years, then I thought that I had recovered and was doing well for a few years. In my early 20s I started to see a personal trainer and nutritionist at my gym and I was following a very restrictive meal plan. He told me that I could have 1 cheat day a week, and this led me to start binging and overexercising to compensate. I was in a partial hopsital programearlier this year for my eating disorder, but I don't think that it helped me very much. I'm still obsessed with food and I have a very negative body image. If I'm around trigger foods I will binge on them. I do not keep much food in my house so I am not tempted to overeat. I tend to grocery shop every day so I only buy what I need for a day or 2. The problem is when I go to my mom's house or people bring snack foods at work. When I'm at home, I don't feel so anxious about eating, but as soon as I leave my comfort zone I feel very compeled to binge (and I absolutely HATE it). Food and exercise are constantly on my mind and it's a vicious cycle: I binge so I overexercise, I overexercise and I get hungry so I binge...AAAAHHH I'm going crazy!
The only time I feel sane and good about myself is when eating raw. My body feels pure and clean. But lately I've been having a very difficult time with it and I do not want to slide back further into my eating disorder.
I think that having a support group is a great idea, it will sure help us express our feelings in a safe environment. Thanks Durian Durian for starting it :)
Hey avl! I just wanted to suggest somthing. I have alot of the same feelings as you, all the guilt. I have been tryingto concously counter my negative thoughts towards myself with the opposing positive affirmation. It really does help! Check out my blog. You can do this ! You are a worthy beautiful person. Remind yourself of who you really are. You are more than food, your body and excersize. You are a whole person with many wonderful qualities. Tell yourself some good things ok?
wow i relate so much to everything that is being said..... i get sooooo anxious about food and if im near my "fear food" i overeat it and then feel so horrible and dirty that i exercise like crazy.
i also think that i try to eat raw an perfect to BE CLEAN..... if you know what i mean i like need to feel pure of something?
i dont know im trying to find perfection though my food :(
I just answered another post on the topic of binging, but cool to have a separate thread for support.
I've just been raw for a week, but so far it's working really well for me. Not binging for a week is huge for me. For the first time in a long time, it feels like food could actually do something good for me, nourish me. I was always only focused on eating as little as possible, and then ending up going back and forth between restriction and overeating. Being raw, I am comfortable to eat more calories, more of a sustainable level, than I was ever before. And yet, the binge weight seems to be coming off. And I feel good.
spekgirl sometimes i wonder the same thing. i do love the raw foods lifestyle and the way it makes me feel. however sometimes i wonder if it is just another way for me to try to reach perfection. that was what trigged me in the first place, i wanted to be something that no one in reality could obtain.
Maybe it is a different way to channel that negative energy into something positive for your body and health as a whole?
Thanks Dancin Durian :) When I was in therapy last year (before the hospital program) I worked a lot of writing reconstructions and focusing on positive messages. I still practise them but sometimes the negative thoughts are just so strong that nothing seems to help.
I also think that for myself, eating raw is another way of achieving perfection. I think that I'm probably creating another obsession and eating disorder. At first I thought that my disorder had gotten better, my body image had improved and felt happier. But when I deviated from my raw foods and healthy cooked foods that I never had problems with, like rice cakes or cooked vegetables, I started feeling really guilty about it. I want to be healthy but I don't want this to be another problem in my life. I just need to find a balance between both of these.
I conciously chose not to transistion fully before I felt I was able to go about changing my diet in a healthy way.
After having anorexia for seven years ( and now recovered) ive learned i just cant do things the same way as others might.
and I found that for a time I couldnt transistion, cause i couldnt go about it in a healthy way without using it as a tool to restrict but under a more healthy cover.
However now, it has changed around.
I relapsed once and I found myself not really caring for giving myself nutrition and raw food, the object became once again the calories and not the food. so i found that eating raw makes care for myself, and not think about calories at all, no lables or other scary things to attend to.
and I think its so important, for me it has been, that if you've strugled with a eating disorder that you acknowledge it
and know that you need to take ekstra care for yourself, and not fast or juicefeast however healthy that might be. Know your bounderies.
know the bounty and bliss of life - infinite love!
Yeah, I just think there is no diet out there that is going to cure an eating disorder, since your diet was not the problem in the first place. I know how it feels to wonder if you are just doing the raw diet as a way of having and excuse to restrict what youeat and stay skinny. And this may well be true. But E.Ds are generaly somthing that we set up for ourselfs to help us avoice thinking about and dealing with difficut thoughts/emotions/situations. So as we deal with the root of the problem is, diet will just fall into place. Raw foods will not heal your eating disorder. But I do think that it is a good tool for helping us to clear up some of our thoughts about food and our bodies. To feed yourself good food is important, as an expression of self love and ecceptance. But yeah, don't look at it as a way of a cure. The mental stuff is the only way to deal with it fully. This is why I think talking is so good. It is the best emotional detox there is!
i dont know if anyone eles feels like this but i just want my mind to stop to stop thinking my thoughts of food consume me its not living like 24/7 i dont know i just wish that i could get away from my own mind but i cant and i find no matter how much i read on healthy food and how "well" or good" i eat its never good or clean enough..... i feel like its a fight i cant win. then i end up not eating enough.
I know just how you feel. That is egzactly what my brain was like all the time as well. I really wish I could just give you a hug, it is really awful to feel like that. It does consume everything. Generaly the thing that helped me was getting someone who I love and trust (for me, my mom) to hug me. I would usually cry, and I think that emotional release would help me to get a bit of an insight as to what was really bothering me, deep deep down, beneath the E.D. There is always somthing there. It really isnt about the food. Being in a safe place can really help things come to the surface that need to come. I am praying for you. Your Christian right? Just let yourself cry, you wont stay down forever.
Hey! How is every one doing today? Just checking in.
So far today was ok, but the night is not over yet. And night time is THE WORST time for me. I just had dinner and I don't feel any urges to binge at the moment. I think that if that urge comes I will go take a shower in order to feel less anxious and to distract myself. I also ate more fat than I would have for dinner (I made raw vegan cheese with cashews and had 3/4 of it in wraps), so hopefully that will keep me full and I will have satisfied all my nutritional needs for the day.
I probably ate about 90% raw today, so it's pretty good for me. And the non-raw foods were artichoke hearts, olives, capers, and a few gluten-free crackers.
I also went for a massage this afternoon so maybe that's why I'm a little more relaxed. How about you?
AVL ................. i hear you NIGHT S ARE THE WORST i always seems to want to keep eating after dinner @ night some night i sit on my bed and eat for 2 hours non stop..... its been going on for a while i dont know why i have treid eating more during the day but i just need to eat most of the night.
i eat olives and tomato sauce that are non raw i dont think that matter but well done :)
Hello! I still really think that sitting down with a journal before you binge is a really helpfull tool. Just be honest with yourself about what is really goin gon under the frantic thinking, and asses the situation. Then at least you have some self knowledge to move forward with. Then you can still binge after if it is still what you really want to do.
Hey everyone! Great idea with this thread, Durian.
I have been bulimic for over two years; I'm not as diehard as I used to be. I used to binge/purge 5-6 times a day and now it's usually about 2-3 times a week. I've gained a lot of weight and don't feel as happy because of it. I feel very ashamed to go outside and do anything because just 4 months ago I was at my lowest, most healthiest weight without the aid of purging. But I've gained 30 pounds since then, and it's depressing when I don't feel strong enough to stay raw or be healthy because I have so much to lose now. *sigh*
This is probably the hardest time of my Eating Disorder battle.
I think that writing about it would be a very good idea. I haven't really tried it but I'd like to.
I also noticed that if I keep up a routine and view Raw food as a LIFESTYLE instead of a "fix", then I am usually very consistant until that ultimate temptation and relapse.
I believe that raw food IS the healing answer. Some people are naturally vulnerable to eating food, and using Raw food as the answer is not using it as a crutch. I believe that it WILL help us achieve what we need to recover, but we also must depend upon OURSELF being raw rather than the raw food.
Keep up with this thread--very needed right now!
Hey Chattanoog! I jsut want you to know, that I gained fifty pounds in five months, going from my lowest weight to my highest. I know just how you feel. But you ahve to remember that you did some pretty extreme things to your body one way(getting quite thin, purging...) And now it is jus swinging back the other way, but it is GOING to ballance out. My body has begun to do that to. I have lost about ten pounds since my highest, but it took a while. I needed to find a plan that works for me, 80-10-10 seems to be what my body likes. But I thin finding somthing that you can stick to, will let your body know that there are no longer any major 'swings' in your eating. That way it will feel safe enought to not need to hold onto extra weight. Just keep eating, and find a balanced diet that works for you and stick to it, this will help alot. But I know, it is very frusterating in the mean time. But just ask yourself, what kind of life do you want to have, when you are totaly free from your eating disorder? What are you r dreams and passions and goals that this obsession is blocking you from reaching? Visualize this life and take steps towards it. Write it down. Switch your focus off of your body (I know, easier said than done, but if you practice you can do it) and know that REALLY your body weight will not stop you from living the life of your dreams, only you can do that! You are free to do your life now, so try and put your focus and energy into it, instead of your body, which will change anyways.
I've been dealing with bulimia and poor body issues for years. When I was 11, I weighed 260 lbs! So, of course, I've instilled a hatred for my body. This summer, I went 100% raw for about 3 1/2 months. In the past years, I've gone from 260 to my lowest of 134 this summer. When I was raw, I actually started to LOVE myself. But, old habits die hard, and in the middle of July, I binged. And binged. And binged. I've been trying to get back on, but the most I've been able to accomplish is 3 weeks raw. I need to go back to raw. I'm done with my ED. I ended up purging again last night, and I couldn't even look in the mirror afterwards. I love myself too much to eat SAD foods. It comes down to personal responsibility. I need to celebrate my accomplishments, instead of saying, "thinner, thinner, thinner!"
We can all be accountable for each other, support each other, love each other, an celebrate this lifestyle. We can DO IT!
Liger99! You are going to be great! You are so right, we will do this together! Please don't be mad at yourself for last night. Things happen. Just firgive yourself ok? The negativity will only hurt you. Love yourself jsut as you are right now, even with the purging, it is ok, we have all been there. You are not alone. come to my blog and read about my stuff, ok? edtakesdownsupport.blogspot.com
Hi, I'm Danielle. I've been recovering from anorexia for almost a year and a half now! :) My eating disorders started when I was 12, and I am now 16. I have a youtube page if anyone's interested in it: youtube.com/lustxxlove, or if you'd like to chat on facebook, my url is facebook.com/danielle.elise.woodard.
^ this is my most popular video, and it shows me at my lowest weights and my healthy weights with some captions to show what was going on through my mind.
I really want to be an inspiration to those going through this. I wasn't someone that was happy about recovery, not even looking for it. I thought I'd always have an eating disorder. In the treatment center, a psychiatrist told me after I was leaving from a 6 week stay, "See you back in a week." NO ONE though I'd recover, not even me at the time.
meditation+raw foods+short fasts to get in tune with my body+sleeping+cutting negative people and habits out of my life=cured (in my case)
if you can't get past an eating disorder, you will never get to a point where you can have healthy relationships and a healthy life. if you want to have a restrictive, stressed and guilt filled life, than don't fight your disorder every day until it's gone. doing the same thing gets the same results. try something different. forgive yourself for not being perfect.
Hey guys hope your all doing well!
I know this time of a year is a struggle for me becuase at my highest weight 200 lbs back a couple years ago I would use the holidays as an excuse to binge eat all the time. Now im so worried about that I find myself cutting back on calories, and am having to push myself to eat more. Ugh. I wish problems like this would just have an easy fix.