A call to arms
How to handle the fury brought on by this election? Register voters, hit the streets, pray. Stop talking about her. Talk about Obama.
By Anne Lamott
Sep. 16, 2008 | I had to leave church Sunday morning when it turned out that the sermon was not about bearing up under desperate circumstances, when you feel like you’re going crazy because something is being perpetrated upon you and your country that is so obscene that it simply cannot be happening.
I sat outside a 7-11 and had a sacramental Dove chocolate bar. Jeez: Here we are again. A man and a woman whose values we loathe and despise, lying, rageful and incompetent, so dangerous to children and old people, to innocent people in every part of the world—are being worshiped, exalted by the media, in a position to take a swing at all that is loveliest about this earth and what’s left of our precious freedoms.
When I got home from church, I drank a bunch of water to metabolize the Dove bar and called my Jesuit friend, who I know hates these people, too. I asked, “Don’t you think God finds these smug egomaniacs morally repellent? Recoils from their smugness as from hot flame?”
And he said, “Absolutely. They are everything He or She hates in a Christian.”
I have been in a better mood ever since, and have decided not to even say this woman’s name anymore, because she fills me with such existential doubt, such a sense of impending doom and disbelief, that only the Germans could possibly have words for it. Nor am I going to say the word “lipstick” again until after the election, as it would only be used against me. Or “polar bear,” because that one image makes me sadder than even horrible old I can stand.
I hate to criticize. And I love to kill wolves as much as the next person does. But this woman takes such pride in her ignorance, doesn’t have a doubt in the world about her messianic calling, that it makes anyone of decency feel nauseated—spiritually, emotionally and physically ill.
I say that with love. As we say in Texas. (Also, we say, “Bless her heart.”)
We felt this grief and nausea during the run-up to the war in Iraq. We felt it after the 2004 election. And now we feel it again.
But since there are still six weeks until the election, and since the stakes are as high as the sky, which should definitely not be forced to endure four more years of the same, we have got to get a grip. There are millions of people to register to vote, millions of dollars to be raised. We really cannot go around feeling flat and defeated, with the need to metabolize the rotten meat that this one particular candidate and the media have forced upon us.
One of the tiny metabolic suggestions I have to offer, if, like me, you choose not to have her name on your lips, like an oozy cold sore (I say that with love), is to check out a Web site called the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator. There you can find out what she and her husband would have named you if you had been their baby. My name, Anne, for instance, would be Krinkle Bearcat. John, her running mate, would be named Stick Freedom. George would be Crunk Petrol. And so on.
First of all, go find out what your own name would be. Then for one day refuse to use the name of these people who are so damaging to earth and to our very souls—so, “I don’t have to understand anything, it’s all fuzzy math. Trust me. I’m the decider.” From now on, when working for Obama, talk about Obama, talk about his policies, the issues, the economy, the war in Iraq, poverty, the last eight years, Joe Biden. You don’t have to mention Crunk Petrol, or his sidekick, Shaver Razorback.
And you sure as hell don’t have to mention Claw Washout—she is absolutely, hands-down the most ludicrous person ever to be nominated. She’s a “South Park” character. There was a mix-up. Mistakes were made.
Everything you need to know about how to bear up during these two months is already inside you. Go within: Work on your own emotional acre. Stand still, and hurt, and feel crazy. Then drink a lot of water, pray, meditate, rest. Rest is a spiritual act. Now, I am a reform Christian, so it is permissible for me to secretly believe that God hates this woman, too. I heard God slam down a couple of shooters while she was talking the other night.
Figure out one thing you can do every single day to be a part of the solution, concentrating on swing states. Money, walking precincts, registering voters, whatever. This is the only way miracles ever happen—left foot, right foot, left foot, breathe. Right foot, left foot, right foot, breathe. The great novelist E.L. Doctorow once said that writing a novel is like driving at night with the headlights on: You can only see a little ways in front of you, but you can make the whole journey this way. It is the truest of all things; the only way to write a book, raise a child, save the world.
As my anonymous pal Krinkle Bearcat once wrote: Laughter is carbonated holiness. It is chemo. So do whatever it takes to keep your sense of humor. Rent Christopher Guest movies, read books by Roz Chast and Maira Kalman. Picture Stick Freedom in his Batman underpants, having one of his episodes of rage alone in one of his seven bedrooms. Or having one of his bathroomy little conversations with Froth Moonshine. (Bless their hearts.) Try to remember that even Karl Rove has accused him of being a lying suck.
Reread everything Molly Ivins and Jim Hightower ever wrote. Write down that great line of Molly’s, that “Freedom fighters don’t always win, but they’re always right.” Tape it next to your phone.
Call the loneliest person you know. Go flirt with the oldest person at the bookstore.
Fill up a box with really cool clothes, that you haven’t worn in a year, and take it to a thrift shop. Take gray water outside and water whatever is growing on your deck. This is not a bad metaphor to live by. I think it is why we are here. Drink more fluids. And take very gentle care of yourself and the people you most love: We need you now more than ever.
—By Anne Lamott
“A man and a woman whose values we loathe and despise, lying, rageful and incompetent, so dangerous to children and old people, to innocent people in every part of the worldâ€”are being worshiped, exalted by…”
This is what help get McCain/Palin elected. Our hatred, our anger, our discordant energy. I’m part of it. I hate them too. If we all have this energy, the McCains and Bushes of the world are our true representatives, and God help us we deserve them.
We are all part of the problem.
What got Bill Clinton elected was his stringent focus on his vision and solutions. He kept hammering away doggedly at his vision for fixing the economy. He absolutely refused to be distracted by the mud slung at him. Brilliant and disciplined.
A leader has to LEAD, show the light at the end of the tunnel, present a cogent, believable, inspiring vision, and the ability to convince us he can make it happen.
I don’t see Obama doing that. Obama keeps pointing his finger at Bush/McCain and saying ‘I’m for change’ and ‘I’m not that’. But he’s not making a clear focused and powerful case for alternatives. ‘Not that’ isn’t good enough. ‘Change’ isn’t good enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a liberal and appalled at what has happened to our county over the past 8 years. You would assume the Democrats would do something to stop all this. But no, the Democrats are a bunch of disorganized wimps. They can’t get together and grow a pair.
Look what Newt et al did to Clinton when he was in office. They persecuted, prosecuted, hounded, and impeached. They practically created a whole branch of government bent on destroying the man-the sitting President!-using taxpayer dollars. As reprehensible as that was, it shows why they prevail-they’re organized, cohesive, they know what they want and they go for it. The Democrats are none of that.
Clinton lied about sex and got impeached. Bush has lied about WMD in Iraq and led us into war, these were lies that he knew about and willfully perpetuated, he destroyed years of conservation, dismantled the constitution and bill of rights, and on and on. And nothing is being done about that. If the Democratic party had half the cohones and organization of the Republicans, we wouldn’t be in this mess right now.
I’m mightily unimpressed with what I’m seeing of Obama’s campaign. Although, believe me Obama would have to sprout horns and a trident for me not to vote for him, given the alternative.
Just my two cents worth.
I love Annie Lamott, but I’m pessimistic about Nov. 4. Hope I’m wrong.
I totally respect anyone who supports Obama. However, I have yet to see any liberal essay or opinion piece at all that can point to the things about the opposition ticket that they don’t like or don’t agree with without rage, hatefullness, evil words and name calling. Please don’t get me wrong – I am not a McCain fan. But if the Obama ticket is so good or the McCain ticket is so bad, please tell me why without all the hateful rhetoric. It is not helpful to your cause nor does it do a ton to raise support for your candidate, in my humble opinion. Give me the facts: McCain is A which is not good because __ (fill in factual answer here – vilifying name calling adjectives not allowed) and Obama is better because ___ (fill in factual answer here). THAT would be very helpful to those of us who don’t automatically see the huge benefit in voting for the ticket of the 1st and 3rd most liberal senators in the senate (documented non-partisan fact).