My new boyfriend invited me to his parents house for Thanksgiving. I want to make a good impression on them so I will eat their cooked meal.
I haven’t eaten a cooked meal in a couple months so this does not really bode well…
Any recommendations on what I could stick to? I wouldn’t mind being labeled a picky eater really. I will definitely avoid fat.
What can I eat that will put me out of commission for the least amount of time/ are there any supplements I can take for damage control?
I’ve read about digestive enzymes you can take to help your body deal with an overwhelming meal. Google it and see what you come up with.
I think the best thing for you to do is go easy on everything. Take a small portion of all veg items and an even smaller portion of whichever non-veg items you wish, but try not to overindulge or you’ll really feel like crap that night and the next day. An alternative is to take a big load of mashed potatoes, eat some, but then use the rest to bury your meat items. I’ve done this many times, especially with skin or unedible bits. You don’t want your host to think you didn’t enjoy the bird, do you? Hide it, nibble at it or quietly beckon the family pets over for a snack.
I think you should just be honest with his parents. Are you a vegetarian? If so, I think you should just tell them that you choose not to eat meat. Most people will respect you more if you present yourself honestly from the outset instead of playing childish avoidance games. Also, if you have been vegan for awhile, be careful of dairy products. You might feel really ill after eating only a small amount of butter, milk, etc. I just met my boyfriend’s family over the summer and I understand how badly you want to make a good impression, but really, just be yourself and things will go better for everyone. Your boyfriend should be impressed too that you have the self-confidence to just be yourself. :)
1sweetpea and marionvalleygirl…you both are hilarious! I have been labeled a rebel, a snob and a picky eater for my food selections. I just keep it real. I’ve developed a thick skin when it comes to my choice to be a vegan raw foodist. After getting sick so many times, I have realized that no one pays my medical bills but me and I am fighting for my life in regard to total relief from MS symptoms. So I just tell my family every year that I eat this way because of health reasons. They eventually got used to it and don’t bother me anymore..except for my uncle David.
But zinfandel, whatever you start you will have to finish. So, if you pretend you will always have to pretend. I think that the family will be MORE offended if you waste their food and don’t give them the benefit of the doubt that they might actually understand. What if they catch you hiding food or the dog gets sick, developes worms and dies. Extreme consequences, but what if. People who have your best interest in mind really will try to understand. As for the others, well they just aren’t worth pleasing now are they?
If I makes you feel better to know this, I will be having dinner with my family tommorow who are coming in from out of town. All of them are NOT familiar with my eating habits so I’m sure I will be questioned. I was feeling a bit self-conscious about no one else’s opinion but my grand-mama because she tends to forget every year about what I have already explained and it makes her so happy when others enjoy her cooking. And my uncle David just loooves to tease me. One thanksgiving he told me “what are you here to be thankful for if you’re not going to eat the thanksgiving dinner!” How stupid right? I missed one Christmas with the family because of him…but no more!
Well I’m going to my G-ma’shouse tommorow with my own dinner (very extreme) and I’m not going to sit there, starve, or pretend. I’ll just have to deal with it and they will have to adapt.
But I understand that you want to make a good first impression. Your first impression as a graceful woman with a backbone will be most impressive. Just eat a lil’ bit of the foods you can tolerate and decline gracefully to the things you cannot.
I hope you have a lovely dinner and begin to see things going smoothly and then they will. ;-)
Oh, you could also take a healthy fruit salad, a healthy dessert or something. This is not an unusual thing to do and they might think it’s very gracious of you…you may be received favorably! Then you’ll have somehing to get full off of.
I like some others on here reccomend sticking to vegan esp. if youve been doing it a while. I binged in Montana over the summer 2 yrs vegan and got sooo sick. I practically had no choice but now I think I would have rather fasted! So now I bring the most popular to sad eaters dishes and pick and choose from the lineup making sure there is no dairy no meat. I have learned in my short time eating this way that sometimes you will be the only one but its also a chance for some others to meet someone who eats different. Be light joke about it and just say how you feel better eating this way. But of course dont get all preachy as that usually turns people off.
I like what Kendra had to say : Your first impression as a graceful woman with a backbone will be most impressive.
Be your beautiful self and enlighten every concious meal!
I am really happy this got so many replies! It feels wonderful to have so much support.
I will not eat meat, as I’ve been vegetarian on and off since I was about 8. I am well versed at turning down meat. I will have to try and stay vegan, because I think all the combining could be deadly.
I don’t know how the relationship is going right now anyways, and my bf probably thinks I am kind of crazy. He loves cooked food and definitely doesn’t understand my love of fruits and veggies, so I am going to be open when at his parents house. I will probably tell them about raw, but I don’t want to be perceived as a raw-zi (nazi).
Harmonylia- I will definitely pick up some smooth move. Apparently there is a chocolate flavor… yummy!
Suasoria- uh oh. Fingers crossed that everything turns out great. I’ll have to look into taking some enzyme supplements to prepare for it and afterwards.
Kendra Far Above Rubies- Your strength is very honorable, and we definitely need more people like you in the world. I hope your battle with MS goes well, and I have a feeling it will :) I may have to make a delicious fruit salad…
Bitt- Very good point. I’m going to pull out an excuse which is that I am shy and just want his parents to like me (he’s really close to them). I think there is a saying “When in Rome do as the Romans…” I normally try not to rock the boat too much. I’m impressed if you would be open about it if you were in my position.
Vegan2raw- I think I will bring a salad and just try to eat as little as possibly without seeming rude… Like make a big deal about safer things so I can get away with not trying some things…”Green beans!? Golly I love green beans! And you cooked them just right.”
Zinfandel, thanks for posting this topic. I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s comments. I’m fortunate that my children (all grown and married) and extended family accept my eating patterns, but occasionally I find myself in an eating environment that can be a little tricky. I must agree with Kendra. Honesty is always the best policy. One can be honest without being overbearing. I look forward to hearing how it went.
I’ve tried Chocolate Smooth Move and did NOT like it at all. (I usually LOVE anything chocolate.) The regular Smooth Move is not very tasty, but can be made more tolerable by adding some lime or lemon juice. You might want to do a taste test before Thanksgiving to see which flavor you can “swallow.”
I understand zinfandel. I am glad you are not giving up your morals. for some people it is weird to even be vegetarian, so i can see how they might freak at the whole raw thing.
from what I have found over the last 6-7 months of being raw is that i have been able to eat a very tiny amount of cooked food at times and not gotten sick. but it has been rare. I would not go with an empty stomach either. if you eat healthy before and after, a few green beans and mashed potatoes won’t do too much harm.
Bringing a dish to share is a great idea~ mmm fruit salad! everyone loves that!
hehe… at my family thanksgiving at grandma’s there is usually about 20 people or so, and I only see most of them (cousins and uncles etc.)twice a year. Most of them only show up to eat, don’t help my grandma or anything, then leave after they’ve pigged out. That kind of family doesn’t even notice what you are eating. , just on what is on their own plate~ we have vegans, veggies, raw gals, bulimics, orthodox mennonites, catholics, pagans, druggies havin flashbacks, transvestites, money theivin’ dishonest politicians and meat and potatoes folk at our gatherings…. quite a group lol! I do love my grammy though~ she is so special
I dunno Zinfandel..I guess my whole reasoning behind allowing them to perceive you as a “graceful lady with backbone” is because if they do, then they are more likely to trust you with their son on more important issues as opposed to viewing you as someone who has something to hide or someone who cannot be forthright all because of some food. I like what vegantoraw said about being light-hearted and emptdmom said about politely refusing in so many words and that’s a cool way you put it zinfandel, we don’t wanna come of as “raw-Nazis” lol! They’ll respect and admire your graceful reply and if they don’t at least you’ll respect yourself.
What ever you choose, even if you decide to eat some of their food, I think that you will feel better about yourself if you base your decision on what YOU feel like doing, not by what the others at the dinner think of you. But I think that hiding food and feeding dogs are not good options lol!. Sorry to those who suggested this..not trying to down your suggestions. I can just forsee how this could be a problem if the family finds out.
That was funny tho’ I as crackin’ up!
You all are the best…you offer such good suggestions. “Be your beautiful self and enlighten every concious meal!” ..well put vegan2raw..I like how you think.
OK…one more thing..this is gonna sound weird, but I look forward to the day when my system is so clean that I can’t even tolerate cooked food. I guess that I would have to completely stop eating cooked food for awhile to experience this. But I do feel lethargic, depending on what I eat. How do you all remain so dedicated? I can’t seem to go above 90% but it’s only been less than 3 months. Actually I don’t think I’m ready yet.
BTW thank you for the well wishes zinfandel and chicory, our dinner table serves a diverse group of people as well on Thanksgiving lol!
Kendra- It’s taken me 6 months to get to a place where I actually would rather not eat cooked food, and I no longer drool over restaurants when I’m driving bye :) It probably has to do with the level of detox, and also feeling like crap whenever I eat cooked. For like days.
I think eating raw is really the right thing for me to do.
Zinfandel – if this dude is a keeper, stick with him. I have seen lots of great advice. I personally loved the “bury the meat under the potatoes” option. You may need to go to this if the parents-in-law (prospective) are of that disposition. If they feed your squeeze first, see if they load him up on the meat. That’ll give you a hint!
Looking a bit further out, I believe that raw is the new frontier of eating. vegetarianism/veganism is now accepted, but a couple of decades ago, a vegan might have gotten the same looks that RFers get today. Everyone gets there in the end.
It might be easier (at this point) to draw the line at vegetarian, without drawing out too much blood onto the carpet. Can you advise them in advance that perhaps a nut cutlet (or something?) would sit better on your tummy than the usual fare? That might be a win-win, hope they don’t use turkey stock on the veggie options. That has happened to me before, it was done in good faith…
Let us know how you get on – we’ll be rooting for you, I will need to lance that same boil at Xmas when we visit my sister, but in my case, she’s very accepting of vegetarianism. She’s just a bit aghast about the raw….
zin-it’s really easy to avoid meat at Thanksgiving since there’s SO many other dishes. Even when I used to eat meat I would often forget to get Turkey since there were many other options. What I’m going to do this year is bring a dish(understandable if you can’t) and just put something from all the veg and fruit dishes so that it looks like there are many things on my plate and eat it till the plate is empty. Don’t over eat or your body will hate you! I wouldn’t mention preferences to the bf’s parents as they may get a bad first impression. It’s really easy to be graceful when you don’t have to say “I don’t eat that, I’m not into this” etc. If you have trouble with sugar(as I do) just say you’re allergic. That works for me.
ok, i just listened to a tele-interview from the raw doctor who operates ecopolitan in minneapolis. he happened to mention that when he travels he cant usually stay all raw, and he takes this thing called inucell (sp?) that i guess helps your body transition better or something; somethign to do with the white blood cell count. its a supplement that has betaglucan in it or something anyway, if you can get your hands on some, might be a good option.
Zinfandel~ Sure hope your bf’s family doesn’t cook like mine…
Turkey is bad enough but Mother smears it with butter before and during roasting… The dressing/stuffing has sausage in it as well as turkey drippings and all the vegies are sauteeds in bacon grease… The potatoes are full of cream and butter… The oysters are full of butter and cream… Mac & Cheese is obvious plus a ton of cream & butter… The greenbeans are cooked with country ham… Broccoli is in a casserole with cheese and butter then topped with buttered crackers like the oysters (forgot)... Sweet potato casserole is full of butter and brown sugar… The cranberry relish contains sugar and is cooked… The fruit salad has a sauce of sugar and raw eggs… The gravy is made from the turkey drippings, bacon grease and the neck, liver, heart and gizzard… The rolls are yeast and white… Now the next meat platter is holding country ham slices… I almost forgot the pumpkin and pecan pies, that are full of everything SAD… So as you can see, there is NOTHING I can even think about eating, so I always take something for everyone… Unfortunately, I am the only one to eat what I take and then have leftovers for too many weeks after the holiday… So this year, I think I will take a fruit salad instead of a green salad to see if anyone will have some… FAMILY OMG!!! Can’t live with or without em… LOL