Mmmm... been there, done that. What get's me is that they don't take a word that comes out of our mouths seriously. My significant other had the worst B.O. in the world, whereas my sweat always smelled like fenugreek ;) .
I would go on and on about mucus, enzymes, etc. and he would kind of just treat me like an idiot. But of course, his main goal in life was to make me feel like an inferior piece of crap, but that's a whole other story !
If I ever did look for another relationship, I would indeed prefer at least someone who is passionate about health, because I'm sure they'd convert to raw after ...
carnap, i feel the same way. none of the guys i've dated are even vegetarians and could care less about what they put in their bodies. it drives me insane. i went out with this one guy a few weeks ago, and when i found out he smoked (only because of the smell), i wanted to vomit. i couldn't even sit next to him without holding my breath.
i can honestly say that i've only met one vegan in this entire city. i live in pittsburgh, and there's not a lot of hype about veganism or vegetarianism or RAW for that matter.
They certainly don't have to be vegan, but it sure is great if they are health conscious. I'm honestly quite all right with dating a meat eater, as long as they eat small amounts of meat, and they keep it away from my raw food. LIVING with a meat eater? That might be a different story. I did it for a while, but it would be hard to have cooked food and meat in MY OWN kitchen - that's very different than someone else's kitchen. I'd like to learn to be more accepting - but seeing cooked food and meat bothers me. My boyfriend right now is ideal in the many many important ways that matter to me - he's an environmentalist, outdoorsy, unconventional, focused on life-not money, and he's fine with my choice to be child-free. Those are HUGE points - so the fact that he eats meat and dairy is so low on the importance scale compared to the other things - plus he eats fairly healthy. I'm sure that when the time comes, I will figure out a way to be okay with whatever he chooses to eat. After all, he's very accepting of what I eat! It's a wonderful thing, really.
My boyfriend is an omnivore but he is very respectful of my vegan/raw lifestyle and diet. He isn't big on eating raw foods but he loves the cooked vegan meals I make for him. Maybe someday he'll stop eating animal products all together, until then I'll keep hoping I rub off more:)
Joannabanana, I hear you on there being a general lack of vegan or raw people around. I live in a small town in SE Kansas! Just being able to find someone who is accepting and respectful of my choices is good enough for me in this place:)
No matter what a person does or doesn't eat, love is the most important thing. It does help if you share some fundamental interests and beliefs though, and personal and ecological health are two biggies...
woah - you cook vegan food for him? are you 100% raw? I truly can't imagine cooking vegan food for someone. I dislike cooking, and i never have cooked food in my house. i'd be willing to eat out, having some cooked vegan food - but preparing it for someone, even once, is more than i'm willing to do. it's so admirable that you have an open mind! it's probably true that since you cooked vegan food, he's eating more healthfully than if you didn't. but i'm only willing to offer raw food to other people, i feel so strongly about it. and this is after only 1 year of being raw, i can only imagine that i'll feel more strongly about it by the time i live with someone again. Well said about sharing fundamental interests - personal and ecological health! That is right on the money. I couldn't possibly share my life with someone unless they have compassion for animals, environment, and their own health.
I cannot talk about the "dating" bit, (because of me, my now-Mrs gave up vegeterianism for fish), and now I have gone raw on her. But our kids eat meat (everything: red, white (mostly), etc).
It was difficult for my wife (me being raw) - for at least the first few months. Now, we just make different food. If I am making a salad, she has some. She's been to a raw potluck with me.
It is difficult living in a house with all the things that you don't want to eat any more (refined flour, sugar, dairy, meat). But the most difficult part of the setup is when I have to cook for the kids, because it is very difficult to cook things like meat without tasting it. 9 times out of 10, I end up tasting, triggering cooked non-veg/raw. And when that happens, the meal ends up being binge porportions. I have been looking at ways to work around this, like eating my meal before starting to cook for them, etc, etc. Certainly, any suggestions are welcome!!!
I can only imagine how much easier life is when your whole house/kitchen is raw vegan!
well, don't have much choice in the matter! after all, you love who you love. my boyfriend likes fast-food chicken sandwhiches and chili and bar-b-q :( i try to influence him positively and encourage him to abstain from as much of that junk as he can and opt for a fresh variety of cuisine whenever possiblel, but he'll do what he wants ultimately. it's crossed my mind that maybe i'd be better off with a guy that shares my raw food vegan lifestyle...it would make things easier, that's for sure. and i wouldn't have to worry so much about the condition he'd be in towards the end of our life together...mine's kind of losing his hair and muscle mass and picking up some love handles and a gut :(..... what to do!?
Sweet Adeline - I sympathize completely!! My last boyfriend drank insane amounts of beer, but still shared some interest in healthy eating. But the last straw was when, out of the blue, he picked up cigarettes and began chain smoking (at the age of 29!!!) I couldn't possibly be with a guy who intentionally picks up such a destructive habit at such a mature age. You should do what I DIDNT do, and consider if the guy shares your beliefs - make a list and be honest with yourself, what on the list is a MUST HAVE. Because believe me, if they really have fundamental differences that you dont like now, it will not get any easier with time.
derryckl - I cannot imagine the difficulty of living in a house with cooked food eaters. Victoria Boutenko's books might be good to read - she guides her whole family to raw food in the course of a week! Their health improves and they are very happy. You could try proposing that the family eats raw food at home, but that they can eat cooked food when they go out to eat (for example the kid's school lunches, or your wife at her work, or saturday nights out). That way, you benefit, and they can still eat the junky crap that is served elsewhere.
Winona: No, I'm not 100% raw yet. That is what I'm aiming for though, at least 90-95% raw (I don't think I can give up my hot teas, and several things like Bragg's and agave are questionable). I've been vegan for about a year and vegetarian a few years before that. I would love for him to at least become vegan, but at least he rarely brings meat into the house and he's cutting out cheese slowly.
That is good advice about making the list of beliefs you'd like to share with your partner, and the warning about the differences not getting easier with time. However, it all boils down to how much you can accept and how much you love the person. I'm pretty passive and don't like to impose my beliefs or anything on others so it's pretty easy to accept he's probably not going to go raw anytime soon. It still doesn't mean I have to like it though:P
I am married to one as well. He is totally supportive of me and I don't love him any less for what he eats. I try to get as much raw in him as possible. He is into health and likes hemp protein shakes to help with body building. I am going to
ask him to do 3 raw days in the summer see how he gets on.
I'm dating a cooked meat eater. I'ts hard sometimes because they do have a different smell. I don't cooked meats in my home. I will buy him some cooked meat from a store and let him cook it or buy it already cooked. I love this man,but sometimes I think that I should at least find someone who is into health. He doesn't bother me about how I eat . I have cooked some vegan food for him before I went raw. Now I'm raw and I don't want to cook any food. But I will cooked some vegan foods for my family around the holidays. So dating a meat eater is hard,but it can be done.
I'm married to one, but I was also a meat eater too. We have different views on many things. We balance each other out though. If he is to respect my ways, I will respect his. We love each other, and parent our children very well together, and they get the best of both worlds I guess. They certainly know the difference between junk food and healthy foods. A good balance for them. I have high hopes that they will grow up and make great food choices, but still give in to junk reasonably.
I try really hard not to come off as someone who thinks my way is the only way. Even if I think it's true. LOL
Ha Saraw , how true! I'm also married to one. Just because I turned RAW doesn't mean I can impose my (better) way of eating on him and the kids--actually, two of my kids are trying to be RAW with me. It is hard with all the temptations around (Skippy peanut butter is my greatest downfall). As well, I cringe when I have to cook (especially meat) but since I love them all I have to continue to feed them what they are used to. I try not to be preachy since that will only alienate them--if they don't want to change they won't listen to reason or notice that I don't get colds/flus, have more energy, need less sleep etc. I hope that in time the benefits of RAW will be so glaringly obvious that they will want to embrace this lifestyle as well. At least I have hope!!
Nope! I dated a non-vegetarian once and he complained about my diet. Then I dated a vegetarian next and he complained that I was vegan. Then I found a vegan who I fell in love with.
I think it would be icky to kiss meat-mouth. But it is not icky to kiss cooked food mouth. He eats heathy cooked vegan food. No junk. Plus he's not allowed to eat wheat then kiss me without brushing his teeth.
I don't even let my dogs kiss me if they've eaten meat! They're vegetarian too.
My husband was a raw meat eater but over time I convinced him to go vegetarian and even vegan! I didn't nag him or show him PETA videos. I just made him good food and showed him convincing articles and books. Good people can eat meat. You know what though? We later found out that he was being harmed by the vegan diet. All the carbs had sent his triglycerides to such a dangerous level that the doctor couldn't believe the numbers. After returning to meat his triglycerides improved pretty quickly. Some people are just made differently and we shouldn't judge them eating what they need anymore than judging people of different sexual orientations or skin color. People are animals and just like cats and dogs some need to be fed meat. Luckily not all of us have to eat it! Gross!
NO!!!! Since I have been vegetarian for 7 years, cooked vegan 9 months, and now raw vegan for only 5 years yet married for 45 years, I can tell you it can become very uncomfortable to have meat smell in the house and a meat smelling person around. Especially when they perspire! The smell will eventually get on all material, painted walls, carpets, (if you have them). There is also the traditional meals that can be stressing to a raw vegan/vegan. Going out to eat, especially on special occasions is another problem which will come up. Then there are those times when he/she will try to change you in the most off handed but nice way.
Thankfully, at this time he is trying not to eat meat.
Now I don't think the smell is with every mixed eating family, but there are times when I hear others have the same problem as I.
I am dating a meat eater, but she is extremely openminded and respectful, between the 2 of us we get what we want from our meals together and so I feel Lucky, my girlfriend has even eaten whole raw meals with me and vegan meals. I think since we began to date she is down to eating meat only once or twice every other week. I do not judge others for there eating habits as long as I am not being judged.
raw is not my religion, and food is not an important enough factor for me to base my relationship with someone on.
my husband eats whatever I put in front of him, raw or not, but when left to his own devices, all he eats is white bread, mayonaise and hot dogs. But that's where he is in his development; his health is his own personal choice and I respect that. He is not judgemental about me and the fact that I can tend to make 'normal' things like family sit down dinners with the in laws and vacations difficult with my eating style.
It would be great if he 'converted' to raw, as one of you put it, but I don't need that from him.
My husband is a meat eater, but so was I. I went from meat eating to raw 6 months ago. I find that because I wasn't vegan/vegetarian before I went raw, I tend to be more open minded about other people's food choices. Everyone is on their OWN journey, judging others is not helpful to anyone. My husband is starting to eat less meat, does Raw until 5 everyday,& has just given up whiskey! I think he can see the positive changes in me, & because I don't judge his food choices, he feels comfortable making changes for himself. I don't smoke & wouldn't date a smoker, I drink (wine & sake) & wouldn't date a non-drinker- If I was single & raw, I would probably want to date someone who at least knows what raw is & respects the decision to be raw. That being said, I haven't come across a raw guy that I find attractive!!! Always have liked the bad boys!!
The guy that wants to marry me called me yesterday, after months of eating loads of meat all while watching me transform radically on the raw diet (I used to get so tired from a trip to the store to pick out furniture or something that took all day, that I would cry and get grumpy. Now I have loads of energy).
He said "what does red meat do in the colon?" I tried to explain a little.
He said "I think I will become vegetarian before vegan"
I said " were you inspired by me?"
"No it has nothing to do with you"
Hahhhahaha!!!! he had never heard of the word vegan before meeting me....
My husband and I have been together for over 10 years. I have become raw over the past two years and eat atleast 95% on a daily basis. (I can't kick the 85% dark chocolate piece each day. Grrr.) I also have two young children. And I make the three of them a regular meal (meat, cheese, etc.) and a raw meal for myself. Usually it works out that they'll eat what I'm making PLUS meat or something like that, not two ACTUAL meals. I wish they would want to give up dairy and meat, but I believe in exposing my kids to everything and letting them get to the point where they don't want it. I was raised on a SAD. I might not have appreciated being raw in such a profound way if I wasn't. I don't want my kids to feel "pushed" into something like that. It's my job to expose them to the ideas and trust they are smart enough to decide for themselves. May not work for some... My eldest eats about 15 pieces of fruit a day - she's mostly raw until dinner, just on her own doing.
Good luck to you all!
PS: That all said, If I had to start over, I'd probably look for a vegan. Raw would be nice, but in northern MN, they're far a few between. But my husband is WONDERFUL about it all. My biggest supporter.
emilyjayne - thanks for sharing! It's fascinating to hear about the recent changes in your diet, and how you make them work when preparing food for a family. I'm impressed that you're able to prepare meat and dairy for your family. I admire that you're respectful of food choices you don't agree with.
Sadly, I'm not very accepting of food choices in a significant other. Mostly because if I care about someone so much, I want them to be healthy - and I truly believe that meat and dairy are very unhealthy for the body (see The China Study). In addition, I cannot tolerate meat and dairy in my house - especially meat. So I'm not sure how things will progress as I move forward in a new relationship with a very picky carnivore. He expressed interest in reducing his consumption of meat and eating healthier. I've been very successful with providing him juice and raw desserts - but I have to find replacements for the pizza/cookies/meat he eats while out of the house. This is certainly a challenge of enormous proportions - I have never met anyone as picky about food.
Even if I put a luscious basket of fresh, local mixed berries, peaches, apples at the peak of ripeness - he wouldn't touch it. He has issues with the texture of all produce. I could blend those same foods into a smoothie and he would consume it. I don't know. This is a huge challenge for me, really. I've been vegetarian for 9 years (eating very few animal products), and raw vegan 1+ years... I love every kind of produce imaginable, and I would never turn down any raw dish. I love coming up with the craziest concoctions in my kitchen - the most gourmet raw entrees imaginable. Being unable to share them with a significant other is really tough.
I feel your pain Winona, I love my bloke to bits but find it v hard when I'm all excited about a new raw recipe I've made and he barely even takes notice. I'll offer some to him but he'll rarely try it. I love my food and enjoy being in the kitchen creating dishes/treats. He's never been interested/excited by food so it used to fustrate me even before I was into raw. It does sadden me that his fav dish is steak and chips. :-(
Can't dwell on these things really, I want to be with him so just have to accept it.
i've been dating a meat eater for about a month now and i like him so much that i don't care what he eats. i would love to date someone who didn't eat meat, but it's not all that matters to me in a relationship. he knows my stance on veganism and raw foodism and respects it, and that's way more accepting than my parents are. he tries everything i make and loves it all, so even if i can get him to eat healthy sometimes, then i'm happy with that. his favorites so far are all my green smoothie concoctions :)
lol i've been married to a major meat eater for 10 years now. i will still cook him dinner with the normal stuff. it doesn't gross me out. some foods, in fact, smell quite yummy to me. i often have a pavlovian response to hamburger helper, for instance. sometimes i ask if he wants to try my vegan food. he hasn't accepted it yet. but maybe time will tell. i'm not his food police nor is he mine. he's extremely supportive of my lifestyle. :-)
Well, I love raw so much it would be hard to have someone not as obssessed about biology and health as me.
Haha! I just went to a homeopathic pharmacy and when I said the word detox it seemed like I made the guy working there very happy. Hard not to want a guy whose eyes are gonna light up if you say the word detox!
Most likely not, besides from the actual act of eating meat its the whole perception that comes with it that I wouldn't be able to handle with, it would just cause to much friction, health food is such a central part of my life I really can't see myself being with someone who is not passionate about it.
I'm a newlywed to a meat eater--and I myself was one as well. My husband is very supportive of my new lifestyle and he says eventually he would like to go raw with me as well--but not now. He's a smoker and trying to quit slowly. Perhaps quitting smoking would be the first step? And actually I love COOKING for my husband. I know that he isn't ready to transition yet, and that's fine with me. And reading all of these responses---I sure hope I don't attest the smell of cooked food and sweat and cigarettes! Even though it truly is bad for us, if my husband isn't ready to change, I'd like to keep the marriage at its happiest.